The Lost Files of the Magical Beings' Rehabilitation Center

  The Lost Files of the Magical Beings’ Rehabilitation Center

  An MBRC Short Story Anthology

  K. M. Shea

  THE LOST FILES OF THE MAGICAL BEINGS’ REHABILITATION CENTER

  Copyright © 2017 by K. M. Shea

  Cover design by Myrrhlynn

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any number whatsoever without written permission of the author, except in the case of quotations embodied in articles and reviews.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or historic events is entirely coincidental.

  www.kmshea.com

  Created with Vellum

  Contents

  1. A Magical Birthday

  2. Swindlers

  3. The Marriage Trustee

  4. Release the Kraken

  5. My Career at the Magical Beings’ Rehabilitation Center

  Afterword

  Other books by K. M. Shea

  About the Author

  1

  A Magical Birthday

  (Age 21)

  I wasn’t planning anything special for my twenty-first birthday. I had some MBRC work piled up, and I hadn’t finished all my college homework. I couldn’t even think about celebrating with all my group assignments pushing down on me. But Madeline wouldn’t leave me alone.

  “Kerrick says a human’s twenty-first birthday is a rite of passage,” Madeline said, her arms folded across her chest.

  “Cha. Sure is, bra,” Kerrick—a so called “Beer Brother,” a dark elf, and an ex-member of the hateful Fidem organization—snorted. He was wearing a football jersey and sunglasses, even though it was already after sunset.

  I rubbed my eyes. “It’s kind of a thing, but I have too much work.”

  “Too bad. You only turn twenty-one once,” Madeline said, smoothing the skirts of her hot pink dress.

  “It doesn’t matter. I have responsibilities—”

  “Okay, we gotta go. Now,” Frey said, barging into my bedroom.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “I’m part of your celebration escort,” Frey said.

  “My what?”

  “Doesn’t matter, we gotta get going. Your little brother tried talking to Frank, and he started hyperventilating.”

  “What, and you think a night in town will ease his delicate nerves?” I asked.

  “Out. Now,” Frey decreed, jabbing a finger at me.

  “Fine,” I groaned.

  “Boxy and I are driving,” Kerrick said, jingling the car keys of his Ford Focus.

  “What? No!” I said, leaping from my desk chair.

  Frey rolled his eyes. “Come on, Morgan. He’s not as bad as Vlad.”

  “You can sit in front.” Madeline patted my hand.

  “M-Madeline?” Frank called from downstairs. His voice was strained.

  “Coming!” Madeline said, mercilessly yanking me from my room and down the stairs.

  “Um, guys, are you sure about this? This place seems pretty exclusive,” I said, trotting behind Boxy—another Beer Brother. There was a long line leading down the sidewalk, which Boxy ignored.

  “Totally,” Shale—one of two female Beer Brothers—said. She swiped a manicured hand through the air. “We go way back with the owner.”

  “Wait, is it owned by a magical being?” I asked. I was turning around, trying to see Harrison, but my goblin guard must have decided to lurk farther back than usual, as I didn’t see him.

  “Yep,” Boxy said, flipping up the collar of his polo as he led the way around a corner. “Here we go—awesome! Sky Screech is the bouncer tonight. Dude! Sky! What’s up, man?”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said, staring at the club’s name—which was lit up with bright lights.

  “What?” Madeline asked, tugging Frank along behind her.

  “I know, right?” Frey nodded at me.

  The magic-owned club was named Dragon’s Den. And judging by the bouncer’s name, it was probably run by dragons.

  “Sky! Wicked glamour, bra,” Kerrick said, flicking down his sunglasses so he could study the troll-sized bouncer.

  The bouncer lifted a hand to inspect it and shrugged. “The Boss made a deal with a couple of fairies from France. Our old charms kept dropping at…inopportune moments. You want in?” his voice was deep and vibrated in my bones. He was easy to hear above the chatter of the line.

  “Totally,” Boxy said, rocking back on his heels. “Everyone here?”

  “Hunter isn’t,” Madeline said.

  “Hunter is coming?” I asked, brightening at the mention of my long-time friend. I saw him frequently—he was in half of my college classes—but it would still be great if he joined my impromptu party. He was fun to hang with, but he also had the magical ability to persuade people, bending them to his will. If something went wrong—and with the company I was keeping, it was likely—he would help Harrison and me clean it up.

  “He said he would meet us here,” Frank said, edging away from the humans waiting in line. Some of them were starting to watch us with curiosity.

  “Hunter Weller is twenty and is not of the legal age necessary to enter Dragon’s Den,” Sky Screech said, his brows lowering over his craggy nose.

  “Come on, Sky. We’re not gonna drink,” Shale said, adjusting her perky pony-tail.

  “Of that, I am aware,” the dragon-bouncer rumbled.

  “We’re celebrating Morgan Fae’s birthday,” Madeline said. “You can’t celebrate Morgan’s birthday without the overbearing Hunter skulking around.”

  “Yeah,” Frey chimed in. “Who else would bankroll our drinks?”

  “Our non-alcoholic drinks,” Kerrick added.

  “Dragon’s Den will not test the law—human or magical. No one underage is allowed inside,” Sky Screech firmly said. “Now are you entering, or not?”

  “What do you think, dudes?” Kerrick asked.

  “We can text Hunter inside,” Frey said.

  “Yeah, and Dragon’s Den is only number one on the list, right? Maybe we can link up with him somewhere else,” Madeline said.

  “Wait, there’s a list?” I asked.

  “Yeah, twenty-one clubs for twenty-one years—some of them Hunter owns. He’ll totally be able to get into those,” Boxy said, pulling a piece of paper from the pocket of his polo.

  “If I get a drink at each club, I will be more than intoxicated; I’ll probably be comatose from alcohol poisoning,” I said.

  “Don’t worry; you’re not getting alcoholic drinks either,” Kerrick said, patting my shoulder.

  “Then why on earth are we going clubbing?” I asked and was ignored.

  “Alright, we’re ready. Could you let us in, Sky?” Shale asked, propping a hand on her hip.

  Sky Screech moved aside, letting us through the door. “Happy Birthday, Morgan Fae,” he said as I slipped past him. “Enjoy your evening.”

  “Thank you,” I said, following my friends inside, gaping at the innards of Dragon’s Den.

  I hadn’t been inside a club before—not only do I believe in following laws, but I also didn’t have the time or inclination to prance around in one alone, as the only one likely to join me (my best human friend, Fran), went to school states away—but Dragon’s Den not only exceeded my expectations, but it set an impossibly high bar.

  Dragons Den didn’t have any of the regular pulsing, seizure-inducing lights you see in a normal club. Instead, the ceiling and the wall
s were decorated with hundreds of tiny lights that winked and sparkled like stars. The floor was smooth rock that looked like the ground of a cave, and the few tables and chairs that bordered the club were large and chunky—built to withstand a lot of weight. The air was surprisingly cool in spite of all the bodies smashed into the club, and there was a distinct wind that blew through the place.

  “What do you think?” Frey asked, shouting over the music.

  “It’s totally awesome! I love the ceiling.”

  “It’s ‘posed to make you feel like you’re flying,” Boxy said.

  “That must be why they have the breeze. It’s really refreshing, but I do not want to know what their air conditioning bill is,” I said.

  “It can’t be too high,” Shale said, rocking back and forth with the music. “The air temperature is regulated by the staff. A few frost fairies and ice dragons are on the payroll. Kerrick, let’s go get Morgan her first drink!”

  “I’m coming, too,” Madeline said, slipping after the two dark elves.

  Frank moved to follow Madeline but chose to slip into my shadow when he saw how she had to push through the crowds to approach the bar. “It’s loud,” he said, pulling his shoulders up so his neck almost disappeared.

  “Yeah, there’s a reason most humans are stone-deaf when they get old,” Frey said, rubbing his ears.

  I felt my phone buzz in my clutch, alerting me to a text message from Hunter.

  Sky Screech is a wingless worm.

  “Hunter’s here, and Sky still isn’t letting him inside,” I reported, interpreting the message.

  “Tell the little bro to chill. We’ll only be ten minutes,” Boxy said, looking at his wristwatch. “Gotta keep a tight schedule if we want to hit all twenty-one clubs.”

  I was typing out the reply and almost dropped my phone when Kerrick presented me with my drink. It was smoldering, had a lit sparkler poking out of it, and was a pearly white color.

  “Ta-da! One non-alcoholic Dragon’s Breath!” Kerrick said. “They whipped it up special for you—normally it’s got enough booze in it to tip a cow.”

  “Happy twenty-first birthday, Morgan Fae!” Shale said, bumping her glass against mine. After she and Madeline distributed the drinks—varying flavors of soda—we waited until the sparkler died before I took a swig.

  My drink was smooth—like a shake—though not as thick, and it tasted like a perfectly toasted marshmallow with a hint of burnt sugar.

  “Only take a few sips. You gotta have room for twenty more drinks,” Kerrick told me as he chewed on an ice cube.

  My phone buzzed again.

  I’m having my car pulled around—and at least one of my clubs better be on that stupid list.

  “Hunter’s ready for us,” I said.

  “Great, we’re out of time anyway. Next club!” Shale said, plucking my drink from my hand.

  “This is really good. Why don’t we have this stuff in the MBRC?” Madeline asked, downing her cup of Mountain Dew.

  “Getting it stocked would be a pain,” I said.

  “Come on, let’s move, people. Next club!” Kerrick declared.

  “Make sure Hunter can get into this one,” Frey said, slapping cash into Boxy’s hand.

  “Onward!” Madeline declared, pointing to the door. “Let us find more mountains of dew!”

  “Thanks for coming, Hunter,” I said as I walked arm-in-arm with him. “Everything might go okay since we’re only staying in each club for less than twenty minutes, but you can never tell.”

  “No. You must proceed with caution if you continue to let your vampire and scruffy werewolf friends run loose,” Hunter said.

  “So where are we going now?” Madeline asked, skipping past Hunter and me.

  “The Tea Room,” Kerrick said, flicking up his sunglasses so he could read a street sign.

  “Is it owned by a magical being?” I asked.

  “No, but it’s managed by one, and all the staff are magical. Up this way,” Shale said, her pony tail bobbing as she led the way up a set of stairs.

  This club didn’t have a line, but men in crisp suits and women wearing beautiful, flowing dresses entered ahead of us. Before they were let inside, they had to present cards—which explained the lack of a line.

  I gulped. The place had to be really exclusive if it was members only.

  There were two bouncers by this club’s ornate, wooden door. They had pasty white complexions, were neatly and meticulous dressed, and even I could smell the heavy dosing of cologne they wore.

  “Vampires?” I asked.

  “Acquaintances of Madeline’s, I think,” Hunter said.

  My vampire friend skipped to the front of the line, her hot-pink dress glowing in the streetlights. “Hello Victor, Bromwell,” Madeline said.

  “Good evening, Miss Madeline. Your table is prepared,” one of the bouncers said. “You may enter.”

  “Except for the honorable Hunter Weller. We regret to inform you that as you are under the legal drinking age, we cannot allow you into our establishment,” the second bouncer said.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Hunter said.

  “Oh, but we’re not gonna drink,” Kerrick said, giving the bouncers a thumbs up.

  “So Miss Madeline claimed. Unfortunately, the law is the law,” the bouncer said, unmoved.

  Hunter growled and dropped my arm. “Harrison, are you feeling generous enough to help me?”

  My massive goblin bodyguard—who was employed by my boyfriend, Devin, rumbled, “Miss Fae?”

  “It would be nice,” I said.

  Harrison nodded, his bald head shining in the dim light. “Yes, Miss Fae.”

  “Great, thanks,” Hunter said before turning to Frey. “Watch her. Harrison and I will be in shortly.”

  “Sure thing,” Frey said, rubbing his fingers together in the international gesture for money.

  Hunter rolled his topaz-colored eyes and slapped a crisp one hundred dollar bill in Frey’s hands. “Use it—if I find out you hoarded it, I will kill you and hang your pelt in my office,” Hunter warned before he retreated a few steps to speak with Harrison.

  “Come on, Morgan. You’ll love this place. It’s so pretty,” Madeline said, impatiently pushing the doors open before the bouncers could stop her.

  The bouncers frowned and stepped back to open the doors for me. “Happy Birthday, Miss Fae,” they said in unison.

  “Thank you,” I said, smiling at them.

  The Tea Room was nothing like a club. It was more of a lounge, and it had beautiful antique furniture arranged in separated spaces, chandeliers, gold candlesticks, and patterned, pale pink, Victorian wallpaper.

  “Wow,” I said, feeling shabby and underdressed in my best pair of jeans, black boots, and black blouse.

  “Party for Miss Fae? This way, please,” said an elegant hostess. Judging by her pronounced canines that flashed when she smiled, she was a vampire, too. She led us to a private inlet. I sat on a white, velvet sofa. Madeline plopped down next to me, but everyone else seated themselves in polished armchairs.

  “Glad you had contacts here, Maddy. We’ve never been in here,” Kerrick, said, straining his neck so he could look at the rest of the club.

  Madeline clapped her hands in excitement. “I ordered ahead, so our drinks should arrive soon.”

  “Great, I’ll go pay off our tab,” Frey said, shaking the bill Hunter gave him.

  “Hunter?” I said, cocking my head as the blond-haired business tycoon strode towards us, Harrison at his shoulder. “You used your persuasion magic?”

  “How else did you think I was going to get in? Bribery?” Hunter scoffed, seating himself on my other side.

  “I’m just impressed you made it at all,” I said.

  “Just because you’re immune to my powers of persuasion does not mean I am weak,” Hunter said, his voice tight.

  “Oohh, our drinks! Woah, what did you get us, Maddy?” Shale asked.

  “Tea. The Tea Room only serves
brandy and some wines. But they’re renowned for their tea, so I ordered some for us! Morgan, you have the rooibos vanilla honeybush.”

  The teas were served in delicate, china cups painted with flowers and rimmed with gold.

  I took several sips of my drink—which had a soft, sweet flavor sprinkled with brown sugar and earthy undertones. “It’s really good,” I said.

  Madeline hugged me, almost sloshing my cup. “I’m glad you like it! Happy birthday!”

  “Where’s the bathroom?” Frank whispered.

  Madeline released me and jumped from the sofa. “I’ll show you.”

  As she and Frank made their exit, Frey returned to the group. “Our tab is paid. How much time do we have left?”

  “Eight minutes,” Kerrick said. In spite of his sunglasses and football jersey, he held his delicate china cup with elegance and assurance—his posture straight as he primly sipped his cup of tea.

  Our hostess glided by. She stopped and looked at Hunter with narrowed eyes. “Mr. Weller,” she said, frowning in displeasure.

  “Don’t mind me,” Hunter said, smiling at her. His topaz-colored eyes glittered in the shimmering chandelier light.

  “I beg your pardon, but I must insist that you leave the premise of this building, Mr. Weller, as you have not yet reached the age required by American laws to drink.”

  Hunter leaned forward, his eyes fixed on the hostess. “You needn’t worry. I won’t drink. You can go about your work.”

  “The issue has nothing to do with worry and everything to do with your age,” the hostess said dryly as she signaled a male attendant. “And your persuasive techniques shant do you any good.”

  “Come along, Mr. Weller,” the male vampire said.

  Hunter stood with a growl and looked to Harrison.

  The goblin guard shrugged. “They aren’t bothering Miss Fae.”